Nudity Required by Law

Someone told me the other day about the guy who got arrested for streaking in front of President Obama during a speech not that long ago (the guy was apparently doing it to win a large sum of money to help out his sick sister – what a guy!)

This got me to thinking.

I think that the government is mistaken here for arresting someone for public nudity. A nude public is a lot safer than a clothed public.

Think about it…if people were actually REQUIRED to be naked at public events such as political rallies and speeches, our officials could certainly feel a lot safer. If everyone is nude, where are they going to hide all of the weapons and explosives? (I know what you’re thinking, but I mean convenient and easily accessible hiding places.)

Think about all of the money we taxpayers could be saving on security and secret service expenses if, instead of arresting the publicly nude, nudity was required at all government events and buildings.

Contact your government officials and get them to work on passing this legislation as soon as possible.

A Totally Awesome Idea

I was sitting in my car yesterday at the McDonald’s drive-thru (yeah, I know I’m trying to lose weight – but I was hungry!) and the car in front of me had a license plate that said “Historical” at the bottom. Now I have seen license plates that said “Antique” for an old car, but never “Historical” – add to that the fact that the car was not an old car at all, and my curiosity was piqued. That got me to thinking…

Wouldn’t it be cool if every vehicle owner was required by law to display their cellphone number on the rear of their car?! That way I could have just dialed the woman’s number and asked her “what the hell does the “Historical” on your license plate mean?”

Think about it, you’re driving along and you see someone with a wobbly tire. You could just call them and warn them of this danger. Or you could let the soccer mom in the minivan in front of you know that at least 5 of her kids have escaped from their seatbelts. Or find out just what that bumper sticker that you can’t quite read says. Road rage could be carried out in a less violent and more technologically advanced manner. And, you wouldn’t have to try to pull up next to that cute blond and try to get her phone number – YOU ALREADY HAVE IT – and I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you called her up right there on the spot to see if she would like to go out with you sometime.

The possibilities are endless! Call your state representatives today and tell them you would like to see this law passed in your state during the next legislative session.  I’m sure it will pass without any controversy!


Breaking the Law

Breaking the Law

Have you ever read a product safety manual that came with your hairdryer or toaster or just about anything else? Did you ever notice how some of the safety precautions sound so ridiculous because they are based on such common sense things like “don’t put this hairdryer in the bathtub” and other stuff like that? Well, as most of us know, the reason that manufacturers have been forced to add such ridiculous warnings to products they sell is because someone has or will sue them for not doing so, claiming that “they didn’t know that and should have been warned of the danger.” These people usually win these lawsuits.

Well, this got me to thinking about the “Law.” I was reading a book the other day about some guy’s life. In the book he talks about how he was arrested for car-jacking when he was 16 years old and that because he used a gun to force the driver of the car out of the car when he stole it, he was given a mandatory 8 year sentence even though no one was physically injured. What if this guy had stood up in court and said that he “didn’t know” that he would receive such a hefty sentence just because he had a gun with him during the commission of the crime and that, had he known, he would have left the gun at home. I mean, if this works for idiots who electrocute themselves by bathing with a hairdryer, why not use it in a legal defense too?

“Ignorance of the law is no excuse” is what they say. But come on – they pass dozens of new laws everyday – it really is possible that someone might not know, right? What if they passed a law yesterday that it was now illegal to wear red on Thursday (stupider laws have been passed) and you, not having been made aware of the passage of this law wear your red Phillies shirt today (it’s Thursday) and get arrested? Being a good citizen, you would have not worn the red shirt had you known, but here you are now – in jail. Not fair at all is it.

I think that legislators should be required to adhere by the same standards that product manufacturers are in disclosing the dangers you could face by the passage of new laws. A news blurb is not enough. What if I don’t watch TV? Legislators should be required to mail detailed announcements with the proper warnings to each and every U.S. citizen for the products (Laws) that they “sell” to us. Otherwise, we should be allowed to use as part of our defense, if arrested, “I just didn’t know.” -m