Freedom

You were my Lifeboat. I clung to you, trying to keep afloat.
You pried my fingers away one by one and left me to sink down into the Dark Sea.
Into The Abyss.
I am drowning in my Self.

I am not ready.
I am not ready.
I am not ready.
You MAKE me ready.
You leave me no choice.

Without you, I cannot see my own face.
I am Faceless & Void.
Waiting for the Spirit to begin moving on the surface of the waters in which I drown.

No longer a Daughter.
No longer a Mother.
No longer a Wife.
I have no Name.

Faceless and Nameless I sink into the murky and unknown depths.
I know no Love, no Meaning, no Purpose.
My arms around no one. No arms around me.
I am Freedom.
Begging you to enslave me once again.

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A Face In The Crowd

There you are, walking down the street or standing amongst a group of strangers. Across the room, your eyes catch the eyes of another. Lightning strikes. You feel it, but you don’t understand what it means. You have just met your Soul Mate. Just a Face In The Crowd, but soon to become everything to you. Life can be so strange.

After many years together, one of you forgets that brief encounter. That life changing encounter. They begin to take you for granted. They no longer feel the sizzle of the lightning that brought you – strangers – into each others’ lives and hearts. That forever connected your Souls together. Now they need their space. They’ve suddenly realized how unhappy they’ve been all these years – an unhappiness you have not noticed. Now you are Separate. Two Soul Mates divided into two incomplete individuals. You realize that this has been slowly happening over the years – no wonder your “partner” feels unhappy. They have lost the connection that you still feel so deeply.

Where is the Fire that melded you together so completely? Where is the Love that bound you? Why were you so blind to the Coming Apart?

You see yourself in the Eyes of your Lover – you are once again, just a Face In The Crowd.

The Silence so Loud – It is Deafening.

No Posts in Awhile

Wow!! I haven’t posted since just before Christmas. Big, huge apologies to my readers. I’ve been going through a lot of stuff in my personal life which has really caused me to neglect my blog. I’m so sorry. I will post about some of it soon. Forgive me and keep reading – I promise lots of good stuff in the future!

Getting Into The Holiday Spirit

Last year, during the Christmas holidays, I read a lot of posts from people disillusioned by all of the commercialism so prevalent during the holiday season. Please don’t despair!  Just because the holidays seem to have been co-opted by commercial interests doesn’t mean that the true spirit of the season has to be lost! It doesn’t matter what religion you practice or if you don’t practice any religion at all. There is still something beautiful to be shared and en-JOY-ed during this time of year.  Here are some points to ponder:

  1. We often get so caught up in our daily routines that every single day seems to be the same day & time just flies by without our noticing. During the holiday season, though, things start to look a lot different than on our “ordinary” days. Lights, colorful decorations and joyful music suddenly appear just about everywhere giving us the opportunity to be drawn out of tOur Christmas Tree 2012he dream of our daily routines. Take advantage of this opportunity to truly “be there” and to reflect on your life.
  2. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I tend to develop a negative attitude towards the world and the people I encounter throughout the year.  Everyone seems so distant and self-centered and the news is always bad. But during the holiday season, a different spirit seems to permeate – not necessarily other people or the world in general, but within myself. I don’t know if it’s the pretty lights or the music or if it’s just the simple fact that I am now thinking about giving gifts to others instead of just thinking of myself as I do for most of the rest of the year. Whatever it is, I start to see people differently and my heart is filled with love instead of mistrust, disdain or indifference. Maybe I should reflect on this & ask myself if my life might be happier and more meaningful if  I looked at people through the lens of the Holiday Spirit all year long. In other words, maybe the problem is me and not them.
  3. The winter holidays are very interesting from a psychological perspective in that this is the time of the year when the days of sunlight are so short, everything is mostly grey and dead looking. And, yet, this is the time of year when humans choose to celebrate their most festive and extravagant holidays! If this doesn’t speak of a great spirit of Hope & Faith, I don’t know what does. Think about it:  If suddenly everything that supplied you with your life’s sustenance was suddenly dying and disappearing, wouldn’t the sane thing be to hoard as much as you could get your hands on? Instead, we prepare great feasts and give everything away. Think about this deeply.

So, don’t despair! Sure a lot of people are looking to make lots of money from the holidays – it only makes good business sense. But good business sense has nothing to do with the true Holiday Spirit. As stated in #3 above, the holiday season is really all about a glorious foolishness and madness wherein human beings choose Hope & Faith over Fear & Uncertainty! So, let’s all try to take advantage of the season to go a little crazy & to take a look around at the world and at each other and see if maybe there isn’t a little Love, Joy & Hope to be had.

Getting Back Into the Visual Arts

I just got a new digital tablet/pen because I would like to get back into drawing and creating visual art.  This is my first drawing/painting. Because art is always open to interpretation, I will leave it to you to decide what this piece depicts and will refrain from making my interpretation known. If you’re interested in an audio accompaniment to this picture, try this one on for size. I think it will fit quite well. Enjoy, and let me know what you think.

Newest Upload to SoundCloud

As most of you know, I am an amateur/hobby musician trying to improve and learn more about playing and recording every day. Below is my latest upload to SoundCloud. It’s a short acoustic piece played on my classical nylon-stringed guitar (2 or 3 separate tracks, I think.) I recorded it awhile ago and just came across it. I think it’s kinda pretty and I hope you like it too!